Brotherly Love

How did it happen?
Our growing apart
Never thought I'd see the day
When we'd be at odds

It breaks my heart
Not knowing what to do
Not laughing anymore
The way we used to do

Two sweet smiling faces
Adored through and through
Where have they gone?
Where's the real you?

Whatever happened to
Those times we knew
We always got along
Our friendship was so strong

It's been too long
No longer knowing you
Since things changed
Nothing's been the same

Id love to know you
The way I remember you
Not this way
After things already changed

It's unfortunate to know
Our friendship hasn't grown
What else can I say
I dont remember you this way

Whatever happened to
The ones I thought I knew
The ones who were true
Back when I recognized you

I really thought that you
Felt the same I had 'bout you
Will I ever know what happened to
The friendship we once knew?



Copyright 2007. Annie C.

Five Haikus In Succession

1
My life is a drag
With all the trouble Ive had
Im just so damned sad...

2
I still keep crying
I feel inside Im dying
Today was so bad!

3
Why all this trouble?
Up to now I have struggled
To live a good life

4
Im sick of this shit!
Now I wish I could forget
My ev'ry regret

5
I'll have no regrets
Finally I'll do my best
To use all I get



Copyright 2007. Annie C.

No Mas!

It just might be
Too much for me
Living in misery
I see
Much given
But none acquired
Revealed in my mind's eye
Yet still not driven
To create the life envisioned
It's simply too much
Not having reached nor touched
My dreams as such

Everything dear to this heart of mine
Feared as such
Time after time
I find
Has been much too much
Too difficult
Too painful to the touch



Copyright 2007. Annie C.

Blocked Spillage

Just write!
Just flow!
Simply let it go!
The pen knows
What to do, where to go
Stand back!
Get out of the way
C'mon let it flow!
JUST LET GO!!!


Copyright 2007. Annie C.

Poeme

Depression's toll
Takes it's hold
Black hole
Parading
Marching
Stomping
Overhead,
Spiraling down
To the ground.

Eminent pain
Emotionally drained
Of effervescence,
Stolen essence
Suppressed
Oppressed
A tumultuous
Reverie!



Copyright 2007. Annie C

Poem to a Child

'Twas I
As a child
With tiny limbs outstretched
No doubt
Held out
Attempting to catch
A love never given
Nor received


Copyright 2007. Annie C.

Transcendence and the Path

Reclining in an easy chair, I began to drift off to sleep. Something happened... with eyes closed and mind open a new experience began. Almost indescribable, an incredible calm washed over my body, mind and spirit. In my mind's eye, a veritable yet beautiful panoramic image began to emerge.

All around, I envisioned an enormous body of water stretching one hundred and eighty degrees left and right before me. Was it a lake, the sea or ocean? It did not matter, for it brought me an undeniable sense of relaxation...

Then, I sensed I was somewhere else. Where I don't know, but it was quite wonderful. Slowly and gently my soul drifted up- lifting out of my body. While hovering over me, I felt suspended in space... There was no recollection of time. Nothing was around me- no people, places or things. There only was a blank slate ready to be filled with good intentions of the heart. This scene was forever etched in my brain. At anytime I could and would return there.

At that moment, an incredible concept was revealed to me. Anything and everything I carefully placed, took hold of and gave focus to would be mine for all time...

Meditation
Visualization
Concentration
Elevation
Transformation,
A meta-metamorphosis
Of transcending vibrations,
Capturing panoramic views
Hues
In shades
Of blue
And grey,
Complementing one another
The day
The sky
The ground,
The elements
Of mother earth,
Create a harmonious melody
Ethereally
Spiritually
Eternally
Divinely
Blessed!



Copyright 2007. Annie C.

At One with the Sestine

This form of writing is so restrictive
That I can't get past the task of hiding
The free flowing verse I need to express.
Nonetheless, I still try to pass it by
As I lie to myself, tell myself
Maybe I can dare to refuse the new

Way to say every word and start anew
Without being daunted by restrictions,
Predicting failure by the dreading my
Mind anticipates, contemplates, hiding
From a challenge, to be a passerby;
Realizing the best thing is to express

Always, feelings needing to be expressed
And know it's alright to try something new
I have never seen or done before, by
Finding courage to stop all restrictions
Placed on my creative mind, not hiding
Talents I possess, to show the best my

Writing can be. How much it does need my
Nurturing side I so need to express.
From now on, I will not go on hiding
What I have to place on the page brand new,
To allow me freedom from restriction
Doing something before time passes by...

I plan to learn how to teach myself by
Deciding to be determined so my
Mind's alleviated, not restricted,
Remembering lovely words I've expressed
In times past, not limited to just new
Forms, but my norm of free-verse. I'll not hide

Again, or stand by and pretend to hide
Pride I feel, being able to live by,
Grow by, so I know I'll find the newest,
Best writing style, always showcasing my
Highest efforts; not failing; expressing
My heart's desire, choosing to restrict

The lack of expressed voice I had lived by,
Hid by, lied by, never tried by; I know
The trick! My fears I choose now to restrict!



Copyright 2008. Annie C.

The Audacity of Idiocy

Idiots!
Surrounded by blithering idiots!
Idiotic ignorant, clueless, uninformed idiots!
Unaware of the idiocy
Brought on by piteous
Pity-
None that I have for for them
No mercy
No patience
Not grasping
The fullness of their futility
Lack of utility

They can not see
What can be seen
By others and me
Simple concepts comprehended by
A child of age four or five,
Able to realize
Lies
Born out of stupidity

Is idiocy
To be pitied?
Shall it be allowed another chance
To frustrate
Aggravate
This mind of mine
How many times
Shall I be spun in circles
Told multiple answers
To ignored questions?
Or nothing at all?

Nothing
By incompetent ones
Unaware
Of their
Lack of competence
Confidence
Lacking,
Congruent to the equation of:
Nothing-
From nothing-
Leaves= NOTHING.

For shame!
For shame!
No brain
No time
To decide
Or find
More questionable
Answers
To multiple questions
Still unanswered!



Copyright 2008. Annie C.

Tanka Times Four

1.
I would say, tonight
Was absolutely that best
Time I've had, since the
Drum circle season ended
Last month, during November!

2.
Inspired am I
By the words which were spoken
Tonight, at the group
Gathering. Sharing my work
Has renewed my energy

3.
The Sestine must be
Finished, putting a lot of
Time into it, though
Difficult, I'm finding the
Challenge well worth the effort!

4.
The Tanka is new
Yet similar in rhythm
To its first cousin
The old Japanese haiku
Combine the two together



Copyright 2008. Annie C.

The Dawning of Dusk

Seeing the sunset on the horizon
I gaze
Toward, then away
From the lit sky.
Pink, orange, blue,
Hues
Engulf the atmosphere's air
Beckoning nightfall.

The dawn of dusk lingers
'Til there's nothing more
But to wait for
The blanket of darkness
To unfold
Smoky clouds of charcoal
Grey
Descending
To the ending
Of day.



Copyright 2008. Annie C.

Facing People

Why such delight taken in such places?
Must I trust in strange peoples faces?

And modes of behaviour, taught
Schools of thought
Odd and unfamiliar
Yet oddly familiar?

How can it be?
This blatant dichotomy
Without reason or rhyme
Apparent paradoxical
Selections sublime

Questionable
Answers
To questions
Unanswered
Inquiring why
Eyes raised to sky

Why trust I in strange peoples faces?
Shall I be found in the strangest places?



Copyright 2008. Annie C.

Mental Prison Break

Please help me
Break free
Of this
Mental prison
Im in
Yet again!

I dont ever
Want to be here anymore, never
Again!
Returning over and over
Simply wanting to recover
Yet, once discovered
It attempts to pull me back in
Again, again, again and AGAIN!

Remove me from this
Treacherous
Force, which
Persists
To torment me all the day long
All the while

Restrictions on my mind
Account for lost time
Erased from my life
A vacant slate
Wasted
By
My
Blinding state!

Tilted head
Averted eyes
Over shoulder
Never over?!

Help me break free
Of the prison encaging me
Raging through
Me
To
No end.

Come on over, take a wild ride!
Onto this forbidden side
Stigmatic
Spasmatic
As never before
Close the roller coaster door
Lets go! Reside
One more time,
Inside
The blank slate
Of my
Eccentric mind

Hesitant,
I stand
Once again,
Stepping back in
My own prison

Although
No
Bars apparently seem to appear
Nonetheless--- unfortunately they are here
Exactly where, I dont know...

Perhaps
A lapse,
Or misconstrued synapse,
Disabled by
My
Brain
Trying to remain
The same

As I enter in
The prison
That is of my mind
It belongs only to me
Solely for my eyes to see

Continuously
Asking me
Myself and I,
To find
An answer to the question why
If or when will I ever break free?
Escaping one final time
From the prison of mind?



Copyright 2008. Annie C.

Poem

Desiring to discover
Character uncovered
Knowledge of you
Your all, your truth
Have you curiosity
Reciprocity
For me?
Or must we
Spin 'round
And 'round
Circularly?

Will faces be seen?
Will we ever meet?
Cant imagine it any longer
Cant stand to wait
Barely hearing your voice
Is never enough
Must know you're real
For how I feel
Need you now
Yet somehow...
Sense it wont come about
Still love you anyhow...


Copyright © 2008. Annie C.

Certainly Uncertain?

Not wanting to long for you
Or pine for you
Nor sit here crying because of you
I beg of you
Must I wonder
Ponder the possibilities
Between you and me
Which may or may not be?

Certainly
Certain certainties
Perch atop prioritized files
Inside my mind
Stability
Dependability
Security
Vulnerability
Responsibility
Accountability
Honesty
Residing between you and me

For I am certain
That the uncertainty
Of questions unanswered
Ignored and avoided
Will certainly destroy
Any hope or possibility
Of what remains to be seen
Between the I and you of we


Copyright © 2008. Annie C.

ONE POEM IN TWO FORMS

Poetically

Hearts beating
Simply needing
Attention so desired
Tensions acquired
Burning higher
Blazing fire
Ever hotter
Overtakes me
Makes me
Lose control is lost
At no cost
Not for naught
For restraint matters not
Locked
In the arms of your embrace


Copyright © 2008. Annie C.


Lyrically

My heart is quickly beating
Simply needing
The attention it so desires
Feeling the tension acquired
A blazing fire
Heating inside
Growing ever hotter
Overtaking me
Making me
Lose control, as control is lost
All is not lost
At no cost
For restraint matters not
In each others arms


Copyright © 2008. Annie C.

The Conga Resounds

Drums enliven me
Revive me
Pump energy through my veins
Lift me higher
Nothings quite the same
As the rhythms of life I find
Inviting me
Driving me
To dance
To be entranced
Transfixed
Driven to move
To the groove
Ensued
Succumbed to
Kinetic cues
Joyous moves
Earthy majestic tones
Percussive elements
Waiting to be graced
Embraced
By fluid improvised melodies
Luscious is the flavor of the islands
Pulsating in my ears
As the beat of my heart
Pounds
Sounds
Surrounds
Me here
Taking me into the sky
To fly high
One more time!


Copyright 2007. Annie C.

13 HAIKUS

1
Ice panorama
Of daylight, reflects delight
Winter is lovely

2
Crimson, gold and orange
Are colors of leaves which fell
on an autumn day

3
These leaves on the trees
Are not so green anymore
The fall colors fell...

4
The weather was warm
Yet I did not go outside
I do wonder why?

5
Today is the day
Families give thanks, and show
Gratitude to God

6
Give thanks to the Lord
For He is good all the time
His mercy endures!

7
Yes, I thank You Lord
You are more than good to me
You are merciful

8
It dont mean a thing
All you gotta do is sing
Ba-dap ba-dap bop!

9
Just shut up and tap!
Feel the rhythm of the beat
Way down in your feet

10
Tap tap tap, to the
Beat, to the beat, y'all, tap
Tap tap, to the beat!

11
There'll be a circle
This Sunday, DAMN IT, or else
I will be PISSED OFF!!!

12
Fifty degrees is
Not warm enough, for a drum
Circle to happen

13
No circle today
None will be outside to play
Until the Spring comes...


Copyright 2006. Annie C.

Winter

The icy panorama of tree limbs
Folding one over another
Takes my breath away
As the sunlight hits the clear crystals
An explosion of reflection occurs
In the atmosphere
One can not help but revel in it
Being intrigued by the power
Of nature's simplicity and vast beauty


Copyright 2006. Annie C.

More Haikus

1
Songwriting, is not
As difficult as it seemed
Im learning new things

2
God is teaching me
How to write songs, so I see
Ill live out my dreams

3
Prophetic words, that
Profit my spirit, are now
Gaining momentum


Copyright 2007. Annie C.

Haikus

1
Drifting off to sleep
Transcendence of space and time
Metamorphosis

2
Crashing to the floor!
Scraping knee against wood door
As never before


Copyright 2007. Annie C.

Path of Transcendence

Meditation
Visualization
Concentration
Elevation
Transformation,
A meta-metamorphosis
Of transcending vibrations,
Capturing panoramic views
Hues
In shades
Of blue
And grey,
Complementing one another
The day
The sky
The ground,
The elements
Of mother earth,
Create a harmonious melody
Ethereally
Spiritually
Eternally
Divinely
Blessed!


Copyright 2007. Annie C.

Naivete

O generous heart
Why do you care so much
More than enough,
For one, such
Out of touch
Within himself,
His life
Inner being
His way
Even his wife,
His denial
Is undeniably true,
To
The highest degree
Known to humanity,

Commonly
Throwing caution to the wind,
Uncommon
Leads to cautious wisdom,
Most difficult than seen
More than ever has been
Easier done than said,
Standing on higher ground
For something,
Not falling
For anything
Anytime, anywhere,

Daring to compare
Receipt truly deserved
Of need,
From one who truly feeds
My soul
Completely knows
How to care,
Bare
His heart,
Knows how to share


Copyright 2007. Annie C.

Brave New World

Investigation
Exploration
Experiential
Expansion,
Brave
Bold,
Unfold
Untold
Innovation,
Preparation
Dedication
Aspiration,
Commence
Begin
New life
New world!


Copyright 2007. Annie C.

Poem of Words

Imply
Infer
Refer
Suggest
Coax
Influence
Manipulate
Escalate
Stipulate
Formulate
Calculate
Educate
Elevate!


Copyright 2007. Annie C.

Two Haikus

1
Frenetic pacing
I feel as though Im racing
To where, I dont know...

2
Racing thoughts pound my
Mind, time after time, without
An ending, I find


Copyright 2007. Annie C.

Haiku Medley

I
I expect to see
Cool days from now on, until
When? I'm not quite sure...

II
But until then, I'll
Only ponder on fall, spring,
And even winter

III
Bodes well for myself
I and me, indeed proceed
On to season three!


Copyright 2007. Annie C.

SIX AT RANDOM

1
Untitled
Cooler weather
Infinitely better
Than 100%, ever!
Could be?
Finally...
Relief is in sight

2
Untitled
Fall approaching
Begin broaching
Natures subject
Four seasons
Spring
Summer
Autumn
Winter,
Then
A new cycle begins
Returning back to spring again

3
A Writers Pen
Intermittently
Ideas spill out of me
Tumbling onto blank pages with pen in hand
Demanding
Words to be written

4
Transcendence
An ethereal essence
A spiritual blessing
Connecting with the divine

5
PuZZled?
Link pieces of a puzzle
Add mysterious clues together
Complete the facts line by line

6
Untitled
This is the day
Of abrupt endings and short tunes played
Again, I say
Today
Is another day
Of sudden endings and brief rhythms played.


Copyright 2007. Annie C.

Inspiration

An overflow floods my brain
Brings ideas never
Ventured, or ever
Gained,
Not the same
As before, ways
Not as days
Of yore,
Flow, pour
More
More
More!


Copyright 2007. Annie C.

The Dunham Dance

Conga resounds
Loudly,
Haitian sounds
Ground me,
Modern moves
Grooves
Drive me
To dance

Rhythmic explosion
Ebb and flow
Of ocean,
Lulling me
Rocking me
Tenderly,
Calm state of being
Seeing
Receiving
Changes
Arranged
To
New
Waves of dance,
Dance

To sound
Drums that pound,
Permeate airwaves
Of mother earth,
Sensing our connection
Absorbing her reflection
Of light, into body mind and soul
Offer ode of gratitude
For her fortitude
Creates opportunity to move
Effortlessly
Yet
Gracefully
Powerfully,
Into
New dimensions of possibility,
As we
Dance
Dance!
Dance!
Dance!
Dance!


Copyright 2007. Annie C.

Meta-Days

As it is
As it were
As it shall be
Now
Today
Yesterday
Everyday
Evermore
Days of yore
Day of birth
First day
Birthday
Day after day
Day after yesterday
Tomorrow
On the morrow
Day after tomorrow
Weekday
Weekend
DAY
DAY
DAY
ALWAYS!
Saturday
Friday
Thursday
Wednesday
Tuesday
Monday
AND
Sunday
Day of the sun
Of the circle
Of percussion
Of redemption
Day of days
Ancient of Days
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
ALL DAY!!!


Copyright 2007. Annie C.

A Thought-Provoking Pensive Return

Will it ever end?
Will it ever end my friend?
The torture the pain
Tears pouring down like rain
Infecting my brain
Over and over again!

The agony of being defeated
Depleted
Of child-like effervescence
Will I ever learn this lesson
Ive spent much time contesting
Confessing telling speaking
Words from my heart
As of this day
Until now
Hasn't carried me very far!


Copyright 2007. Annie C.

Perception Clouded and Askew

Perception's concept's curious strange
Reality's never what it seems
Is it crystal clear as deemed?
Seemingly separate pictures seen
As clues,
Viewed
As one hue
Truth be told
Does it unfold?

Truth untold
One never knew
Such a tale was so askew
To perceive
And see
This projection
From
You onto me

Do you me we
See he or she?
Does anyone know
How truth resides and grows
In our lives,
As alibis
Disguised
Prized
Unrecognized
By society's lies

Nothing is as it seems
All
An enormous crystal ball
Of curious things,
Confusing themes
All shrouded in secrecy
Bringing
Absent-minded
Minds
Of absence,
Abstractly
Creating
Believable scenes
Of untruths untold
Yet to unfold

Boldly sold
As fodder to control
To distract to deter these minds
Of yours and mine

Declaring
Saying
For the final time
All must cease to lie!


Copyright 2007. Annie C.

Afterthought

I confess
Lest
I be most distressed
By failed tests
From which Ive not yet
Learned to create success

Sad to say Im not the best
As of yet,
But still yes
I must confess!


Copyright 2007. Annie C.

Untitled

Eighty-eight tones of black and white
Sprawled on the keyboard left and right
Gathered together in a row
Of colors contrasted
Grand piano
Sing brightly
Sing out clear
Beautiful music's played here
Hear aloud
Note the essence of sound
Enveloping the crowd
Of the concert hall grounds


Copyright 2007. Annie C.

Drum Circle Day

Beginning
To ending
Of day,
We play,
Play
Hard, on
And on
All day
Today
Sunday
This day
This way
Only,
Only
my way


Copyright 2007. Annie C.

Tam the Tom Toms

[Tam tom tom-Tam tom tom- Tam x 4] cresc.<

Tam tam
The tom toms
The tom toms
Tam
Percussion's a huge part of who I am
Expressive improvisational inspiration
For good measure
Whether
Fast or slow
Adagio
Allegro
Fuerte
Forte
Forte's
Strength, Strong and loud
Proud I pound
To the beat, Ive found
Drum energy cant be beat
Driving moving me to my feet

You know
Know
What it does
Does
To your feet
To your feet
To dance
Dance,
Take a chance
Chance,
Be entranced
By the boom of the bang
Of the sound that we beat
Beat,
In our seats
Seats,
Travels out
Out
To the street
As we greet
Greet
Much attention

Did I mention?
Do an anti-rain dance
Take a new chance
Trance
In the mode of the mood
And the mood
Of the mode
Of energy
Centered
By breath now entered

[Tam tom tom-Tam tom tom- Tam x 8] decresc.>


Copyright 2007. Antoinette Cole

THREE HAIKUS

Glimpse
Inside of my mind
Too much chaos still resides
Peace, peace I must find

Haiku
Tom toms go tam tam
Drums are part of who I am
Today and always

Haiku
Saw some heard some read
Some wrote some dynamic words
Ode to poetry!

Copyright 2007. Antoinette Cole

Herbacious Remedies

Burning embers flame the fan
Burning embers with my hand
Waft the fragrance through the air
Smell its essence here and there
Smudging
Cleansing
Atmopheres
Purify whats near
And dear
Clarify this sacred spac
Full protection in this place
Remove negativity
Is the best to do for me
Environment, The world outside
With this sage I override
Juniper will bring to me
Only goodness I so nee
Mother earth overflows and beckons
Her natural herbal blessings
Which I shall apply as healing lessons

Copyright 2007. Annie C.

HAIKUS OF NATURE

Symbiosis

Trees in bloom consume
The CO2 we breathe out
Spilling air about

Surya

Sunlight streams indoors
Beaming as never before
Downward to my floor

Chandra
Dusk is preceding
Night air's anticipating
Birthing skies dark blue

Copyright 2007. Annie C.

Scenery of Greenery

These tall trees
Made for you and me
With which we
Are in synchronicity
This concept gives its place
Is printed on the vast face
Of humanity, In bold yet mysterious ways,
These
Tall trees
Are yet a breath away...

Copyright 2007. Annie C.

The Guise of Love

Shall I acquire the treasure I so desire?
Shall the treasure so desired be the one acquired?

Inquiries denied
Unfulfilled replies
Disguised lies
As the age-old guise
Of love
Of love
Of love?

With simple answers to complicated questions
Without questionable complexity
Inherent simplicity
Implicitly
Unbeckoned
Indirectly directed
Detected
Unprotected
Apparently rejected

Thus far my reply remains to be seen
I know not how or what will be deemed
It seems
To be
For me
My history
Of romance
Hasn't stood a chance
For again, happenstance has disallowed me
The opportunity
Of advancement to higher levels of reality
Can this be?

Shall I acquire the treasure I so desire?
Shall the treasure so desired be the one acquired?


Copyright 2008. Annie C.

A Pensive Emotional Inventory of Dark Skies

Pensive

Will it end?
Will it ever end
My friend?
The fear, instability
The negativity
Does it ever end?


Emotional Inventory

Here we are in the dark corners, the recesses of my mind
Step back, take a look, what then shall we find?
Mystery
Intrigue, eccentricity
Divine
Shall these remain 'til the end of time?


Dark Skies

A storm rages within
Tinted
Clouds in shades of gray
Loom overhead yet again
I do not welcome them in
Fear is brewing
Instability consumes me
Will it ever end?


Pensive Revisited

When will it end?
Will it ever end my friend?
The chaos, instability
Most of all the negativity
Does it ever end?


Return of the Dark Sky

Upon returning to the dark corners of my mind
Again, I stepped back took
Another look
But what truly did I find?

Was it worth the toll
To regress once more
Was it a mere waste of time?
Futile, without reason or rhyme

Herein lies the answer to this
Mystery
Will it soon be revealed to me?
Has eccentricity
Lead me
To utter misery?

Emotion defined
Equals character divine
Revisited the umpteenth time
Shall I forever find
Misplaced intrigue on the edge of my mind?


Copyright 2003-2008. Annie C.

Drumming on Delmar

Henna on hand
Drum on thigh
Stand high
Eyes to sky
Meditative lullaby
With drums, hands fully extended
Finely blended
Subtle harmonies
Rhythms in twos or threes

Large crowd
Playing aloud
As on cloud
Allowed
Freedom to move to breathe
Easily
Flowing
Measures
Brought together
In any weather
Come rain come shine
At all times
Partly cloudy, sprinkling too
Knowing who
What we do

O how they dance!
See how they move?
To the groove
Ensued
By musical cues
Exuding
Waves imbued
By the dip
Of the hips
Cloaked
In flowing
Tapestries of gold
Colors bold
Behold!
Behold!

Circular motions
Form unbroken
Figure eight begins
Never stops, never ends

Sound
Rebounds
Off wall, comes down
To ground
Flips over turns 'round
Upside-down
Resounds
Abounds
Only found
Here, now
In this town

Bing the bang bang
Bang the bong bong
Bong the tom tom
Play, sing along!
Reach it
Grab it
Hit the drum
Dum diddy
Dum diddy
Dum dum dum!

Come on!
Come on!
Play sing along
Organic songs
Grown
This moment
Finer
Than aged wine
Time after time
Now, sit in, bow out
Bring yourself about
Circular cyclical motions
Back to one
unique pattern, style of play
Fresh brand new today

Sound hits wall,
Comes back, bounces down
Upward bound
From ground
Rebounds
A resounding
Growing
Increasing
Crescendo, full forte!
Strong force
Fills air
Atmosphere
With sound
Abounding
Resounding
SOUND!
SOUND!
SOUND!


Copyright 2008. Annie C.

Introspection Revisited

The palpabilty
Of loneliness dwelling within me
Envelops, overtakes me
To places I dare not be

Seeming so
Not coming to know
Not shaking this
Continuous presence
Of nagging loneliness
As I walk this earth
Yearn for a sense of worth
To be, to have, now, today!

Is it here to stay?
It has yet to go away
Loneliness in my heart
Haunts me
Taunts me
Mocking the best
While the rest
Dissolves to the ground
Ceases to fly

The intensity
Of this
Loneliness
Living inside me
Filling, killing me
Shakes me
Breaks me
Takes me
To a space
Id rather not be

Seeming so
Now coming to know
Not shaking this
Continuous presence
Of staggering loneliness
Nagging, badgering
Breaking
Taking me
On an unfounded journey
An unfolding path
Unmolding, unmaking me
Tearing me apart
Into someone I dare not
Do not
Know
Or care to be
Can this be?

Ive an endless
Feeling of loneliness
In me
Longing
To be taken away
Yet it stays
And stays
For days
Sometimes

At times
I find
My mind
Blank, eyes blind
To pain
The same
Feeling I've known
Old
As the year I was born
Permeating
Invading
Overtaking
My soul

'T would be
Absolutely
Lovely
If my lonely
Only
Self would leave me alone today!
Each and everyday
In each and every way
Finally rid me of this pain
Lend me the chance to create a new way
Live a new day
Right now, today!

But then
Again
I ask myself within
When o when
Will it ever go away?
I pray
I say
Away!
Away!

Again
Again
Asking within
When o when
Shall it cease to exist?
Shall I forever experience this?


Copyright 2008. Annie C.

Commentary on movie musical 'Showboat'

Life imitated
Art.
Which was imitating
Life.

Copyright 2008. Annie C.

Return of the Starry Night

Was it a starry night?
Did the moon shine on, burn bright?
Iridescence
Metallic silver essence
Glows
Slows...
Knows
This present darkness
At any moment
May cease to exist
For it can not co-exist
With
The dawn of the morn
Fast approaching as the sun


Copyright 2008. Annie C.

TWO SEPARATE POEMS

Live and Let Live

Accept me as I am
Listen and understand
Making no demands
Taking no commands
Nor depicting
Didactic dictating
Of outdated modes
Conduct codes
Thoughts
Taught
In days of old


LISTEN

Have you heard- heard
Random words- words
SPOKEN
SPOken
Spoken...
Echoing the sound- sound
Of the crowd- crowd
Speaking
Louder
LOuder
LOUDer
LOUDER...
Whispered hush breathed
Public bus leaves
Stops.
For the hustle
And bustle
Beyond
The dawn
At daybreak


Copyright 2008. Annie C.

Starry Night

Tonight stars burn bright
Moon shines iridescent lights
Of blue, gray and silver until the dawn
Shows itself morning by morn
Night transforms
To light
Right
At the perfect hour of day


Copyright 2008. Annie C.

Five Unrelated Poems

Broken

My heart has been broken
Into millions of tiny pieces
Now only fragments
Of my imagination remain, linger on
Since you did your dirty deed

Lovely

i love. to love. be loved.
to have loved. give love.
receive love. know love.
feel loved. i love love.

Naivete

How could I be dumb
And stupid enough to trust
A man such as he?

Miss Walker

must move hips.
dip down.
heels to ground.
dont pound.
circle around.
bounce back.
to center.
upward bound.

Advert

The classic fit
Of jeans that sit
On hips
That slip
On with just one grip


Copyright 2008. Annie C.

Thoughts on Love Gone Wrong


I
Apathy

So what?
So be it!
Albeit...
Who needs it!

II
Sheer Blindness

Is love blind as they say?
Does it bind us together in selfish ways?
Left only to find nothing we ever imagined or desired?

III
Fool for Love

This Tom Foolery

Trying to make a mockery of me
Refuses to acquiesce
No kisses
Not even a glance
We've no chance
For romance

For happenstance disallows us the possibility
Of advancement to new levels of reality
Never will it be

IV
The Guise of Love

Shall I acquire the treasure I so desire?
Shall the treasure so desired be the one acquired?

Inquiries denied
Unfulfilled replies
Disguised lies
As the age-old guise
Of love
Of love
Of love?

With simple answers to complicated questions
Without questionable complexity
Inherent simplicity
Implicitly
Unbeckoned
Indirectly directed
Detected
Unprotected
Apparently rejected

Thus far my reply remains to be seen
I know not how or what will be deemed
It seems
To be
For me
My history
Of romance
Hasn't stood a chance
For again, happenstance has disallowed me
The opportunity
Of advancement to higher levels of reality
Can this be?

Shall I acquire the treasure I so desire?
Shall the treasure so desired be the one acquired?



Copyright 2008. Annie C.

TWENTY HAIKUS IN SUCCESSION OF THOUGHTS

Believe
Force myself to trust
I am tough and strong enough
Now no matter what

Foolery
I have no idea
Was I thinking when I said
In was so in love ?

Lies
He said he loved me
Now I know it wasn't true
Why'd I believe him?

After
I do not like this!
I feel sick to my stomach
Now that I'm alone

Anger
I'm so damned angry
Now I'm let down once again
As Ive always been

Moral
Will I ever learn
How to take my time and earn
What I'm looking for?

Haste
Why'd I trust trust trust
Much too fast I rushed rushed rushed
much much much too much

Abandoned
I thought he loved me
But then he really hurt me
He deserted me

Amore?
What is this thing love?
That I don't know how to do
I don't have a clue!

Ambivalence
After five long days
I can not believe you said
Only five small words!

Deprived
Is that all there is?
None were words I longed to hear
Saying you love me

Adieu!
We will never meet
So whats the point wasting time
On one who's not mine?

Sparse
More words said today
But never enough for me
I do not know why

Right
On and on I write and write
Without an ending in sight
On and on I write...

More
Have you more to say
Than the things you wrote today
On your computer?

Halt!
More words must be said
Or we will come to an end
Very abruptly!

You
Do you even care?
I'm hurting and you re not there
Do you give a damn?

Failure
Things have not worked out
I hoped for the best no doubt
Was it really love?

Never
Ive never known love
Ive not seen a glimpse of it
Still I never will

Finito
Here's the final end
I must say goodbye my friend
To my thoughts on men

Copyright 2008. Annie C.

The Beginning of the End

these next two series of poems were written about a man i loved. the only thing ill reveal about his identity is that he was from india. other than that, he will remain nameless. we had trouble in our relationship, so we broke up. he will remain nameless. we fell in love quickly, much too quickly. he seemed like such a wonderful man- so kind, gentle and loving. the words he spoke to me were none that i ever heard before. his writing was beyond beautiful, such a flowery type of language. imagine the hearing the beauty of poetry in conversation. i had the privilege of listening to these words each time we met. i can only compare his way of expression to shakespeare.

then as time went on, the situation changed for the worse. things started going wrong just as quickly as we fell in love. he started spending less and less time with me. i felt so hurt and abandoned by his insensitivity. over and over i tried to work it out, but he had no interest in resolving our problem. he lost interest in me. i knew something was seriously wrong, but he wouldn't explain or admit it to me. the more this went on, the more angry and upset i became.

i had hoped for the best. i seriously believed he could've been the one with whom id spend the rest of my life. i hate to admit my foolish of way thinking. I'm honest, sometimes a bit too honest.

one thing i know is: i will never fall for someone as quickly as i did. i will always take my time to let the relationship unfold naturally. from now on ill get to know a person before giving away my heart. i must begin protecting myself and stop setting myself up for failure.

i'll tell you this: i want to learn how to form healthy, long-lasting relationships. its what i've longed for all my life. the question is: will i ever get it right? maybe one day ill finally learn my lesson. until then, unfortunately, i must admit my embarrassment. i'm definitely a fool in love because i still love him, even after the way he treated me. for shame for shame! its going to take some time for me to get over him.


Annie C.

Taboo?

Nobody dare discuss its presence
No one's willing to admit it's existence
Is it to be shunned
As sex is to a nun
Deviated from conversation
Racism
As soon as mentioned
It causes tension
Turns into dissension
Ugly stereotypical words
Form unacceptable racial slurs
Bringing shame to your name
As well as every person of color
For a White man's historical claim to fame
Is a vile disgusting word I dare not name
Insulting the very core of my being
Wiping away all respect expected
Over past decades equality was of the essence
Given no fighting chance
Never seeing me for who I am
A wonderful woman of African descent



Copyright 2008. Annie C.

Are you There?

where are you?
i love you
i miss you
i need you
i want you here with me
i love you
cant you see
i ache and yearn for you
i miss you
want to kiss you

where are you?
i love you
im cryin
im dyin
without you here
im pining
im finding it hard
to find the rhyme without reason
to understand the meaning of this

where are you?
i miss you
i love you
i want to hold you
and kiss you
'cause i miss you
im cryin and dyin
to see you
feel you
touch you
make love to you
say so much to you
'cause i love you
and want you so much
i cant ever let you go
once again did you know that i miss you?

i want to talk to you
share with you
sing to you
express my every though with you
know you
give my love attention and devotion to you
doing everything with you
im so enamored with you
ill never leave you
ill always be with you
now until the end of time
can we find the time
to say what we meant to say today
in every way
please stay
dont go
ill never let you go
do you know that i love you so?
i really love you more than youll ever know

are you real?
are you there?
can we please make time to share our every care
its so hard to bear not having you there
even so i know you care

where are you?
im too far from you
i want to be there with you
to squeeze you and tease you
but most of all to please you
take me
indulge me
squeeze me
tease me
drown me
drench me
fill me
spill into me
pinch me can it be what it seems to be?
that you you honestly truly love and care for me?

undress me
caress me
tenderly touch me
feel me
show me
just how much you love me
until the dawn keep me safe
and wrap your warm arms around me
i cant believe you found me
kiss me
do what you will with me
but most of all what id like to ask
is do you really miss me?


copyright 2008. annie c.

QUESTIONS GALORE!

PERSONAL
Name: Annie C.
Birthdate: Jan 8th- But I'm still alive, unlike Elvis!
Birthplace: St Louis, MO
Current Location: Unfortunately- St.Louis, MO
Eye Color: Dark Brown
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Height: 5'3"
Weight: That's for me to know know you to find out!
Piercings: In both ears, two holes in each
Tattoos: Only brave enough for henna at the moment!
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Not anymore, unfortunately :-(
Overused Phrase: Are you there? Can you hear me?

FAVORITES
Food: Italian, Chinese and Mexican
Candy: CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!!!
Number: Seven
Color: Blue (my most favorite), but also green and purple
Animal: Cats, dogs, koalas, chimps and dolphins
Drink: Any kind of sweet fruit juice- red and white grape and apple
Alcohol Drink: wine, wine coolers or anything that tastes like kool-aid
Bagel: New York style
Letter: S is best- Mr. S from 'The Letter People'
Body Part on Opposite sex: Brain, derriere, eyes and hands

THIS OR THAT
Pepsi or Coke: Neither
McDonalds or BurgerKing: Mickey D's
Strawberry or Watermelon: Strawberry of course!
Hot tea or Ice tea: Ice tea only (with raspberry flavor added)
Chocolate or Vanilla: CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!
Hot Chocolate or Coffee: nothing other than HOT CHOCOLATE!
Kiss or Hug: It depends on who it is...
Dog or Cat: Both- who can resist?
Rap or Punk: I prefer classical
Summer or Winter: Spring and Fall
Scary Movies or Funny Movies: Comedy all the way!
Love or Money: Love is all we need

YOUR...
Bedtime: Hell if I know- I'm still on this thing!
Most Missed Memory: I really cant remember!
Best physical feature: My brain, eyes, mouth, cleavage and derriere
First Thought Waking Up: No, not again! Do I have to???
Goal for this year: Too many to name
Best Friends: What are those?
Weakness: Too many to name
Fears: Too many to name
Heritage: American- of African descent
Longest relationship: Never really had one...

HAVE YOU...
Ever Drank: Yes
Ever been Drunk: Yes
Ever been beaten up: No
Ever beaten someone up: No way, why would I!
Ever Shoplifted: Yes- that's embarrassing!
Ever Skinny Dipped: Yes I did once
Ever Kissed Opposite sex: Of course- who hasn't?
Been Dumped Lately: Yes I was, recently :-(

IN A GUY/GIRL
Favorite Eye Color: Green
Favorite Hair Color: Whatever they choose
Short or Long: Whatever looks best
Height: I want someone nice and honest- that's all
Style: None in particular
Looks or Personality: Personality is best
Hot or Cute: A wonderful person is all I want
Drugs and Alcohol: No drugs! Social drinker only
Muscular or Really Skinny: Again, it really doesn't matter!

RANDOMS
Number of Regrets in the Past: Way too many!!!
What country do you want to Visit: Most of them- never traveled much
How do you want to Die: What kind of question is that?
Been to the Mall Lately: No- I never was a mall kind of person
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes I do
Get along with your Parents: Not really
Health Freak: Hell no!
Do you think your Attractive: Yes, to a point
Believe in Yourself: Somewhat, but I'm working on it
Want to go to College: I did, but never graduated
Do you Smoke: No way- Ive got to save my singing voice!!!
Do you Drink: Occasionally
Shower Daily: Maybe...
Been in Love: I thought so... but maybe not???
Do you Sing: YES I DO!!!
Want to get Married: Been there, done that- didn't like it
Do you want Children: Maybe one day...
Have your future kids names planned out: Nope
Age you wanna lose your Virginity: I did that years ago!
Hate anyone: No, but sometimes it's difficult not to!


Questions answered by Annie C.

It is Written

Written on the wall words describing all
Words describing all written on the wall
The writing on the wall says it all
Once written they cannot be hidden
In the sentence of forgetfulness
Let us remember the place it started
From the beginning until the end
For now it shall never be hidden
It shall forever remain the same
Words forbidden to change
Become stale with need to rearrange
To new forms of remembrance
Transforming blank pages into
Ones carrying ink-blotted images
Written on these walls words describing all
Words describing all written on these walls

Copyright 2008. Annie C.

Begin the Beguine from the Beginning

Hello world!

I am about to embark on an exciting journey... the adventures of blogging. This is quite a new experience for me- one I've never attempted before. By suggestion of my youngest brother, I was challenged to take upon this task. It is one I have eagerly decided to pursue. As my brother spoke- he told me the many reasons why blogging could be such a good idea. For one, it can be a catalyst to adding focus to my life. In the same conversation, he also explained the benefits and rewards of how blogging could be very helpful in leading me to my destiny.

Here is a list of the most important reasons for me to start and maintain a blog. Number one, to become disciplined and motivated enough to pursue my dreams and aspirations. Two, to inspire others to do the same. Three, to give and receive feedback and encouragement for and from others. Four, to network with artists in the same field as I. Five, to acquaint myself with individuals having similar needs.

Lets return to the original topic of my blog. This is a story of a girl who's has led a strange yet interesting life. Shes experienced most everything imaginable yet all that is unbelievable. Its a blog about the daily happenings of my life from today and beyond. In this public journal I will describe every detail of my thoughts and experiences.

In my minds eye, I see you being intrigued, surprised or even shocked by my circumstances and the way in which they occur. These situations wont be your 'normal' everyday dull news report. Nor shall it be a gossip column. It is about all the raw and gritty happenings of my life. The words you are about to read may move you to tears. Or you may experience laughter, curiosity or introspection. It is subject to interpretation. Some readers will have their own views, coming to their own conclusions regarding my life experiences. This is to be expected since all people see things from different perspectives.

Now what shall I say? Need I say more? I think not. Let us move on to the next phase of our story. I must ask you this one question? Where should I begin? Have you an answer? I believe the beginning is the best place to start! Your reply? By all means yes!

This is where I shall stop for today. I will return to our discussion sooner than you think. By the time you have read this first post, you'll be left wanting more. Try not to let curiosity get the best of your imagination. I have a sneaking suspicion you will be waiting patiently for my next entry. Until then, I will be formulating my ideas of topics on which I shall focus. In a couple of days I expect to have more than enough subject matter to write about. Next time, expect a tickling of your fancy. Are you ready? Prepare yourself. Get ready because here I come!!!


Annie C.